There is nothing quite like a wedding, when it comes to finding friends you never knew you had. When everyone figures out that you are getting married, many people will start to ask you about how they can get involved. This is where problems start to arise. How do you turn down a friend if she asks you about being a bridesmaid?
Before we get into how, we must figure out why! Here are some reasons why you wouldn’t want someone to be a bridesmaid. First, they may not really be your friend. Sometimes people just want to seem important on your big day. To do this, they will often ask to be included in your wedding party. These friends usually come out of the wood work when they hear about others getting married. Secondly, these friends could very well be bad friends. The last thing a bride needs is someone that will take away the happiness on their wedding day. Lastly, the “friend” may be a family member! I know some brides are very close to their family and having them in the wedding is incredibly important. On the other hand, some brides don’t want to involve their family in the wedding. In this case, brides prefer to have only close friends involved.
In all of these situations it can be difficult to tell someone that they are not going to be in your wedding. There are ways to say, “no”, without causing problems. One of the ways would be to establish who is going to be in the wedding from day one. The problems typically start to arise when a bride tells everyone she is married but doesn’t tell them who’s included. When plans aren’t established early, some friends may start to ask if they can be in your wedding. This is where the problems start. We suggest telling everyone up front that the wedding will only be for close family. In some cases, you can tell them that it will be a small wedding. This will allow you to hint at the fact that they are not included without telling them that directly. Another tip, is to find something else for them to do. Maybe have them assist in the getting ready, or have them help with the dress while you’re walking down the aisle. There are many other ways that these friends can get involved without them having to be a bridesmaid.
The big point here is that you must plan ahead and know right off the bat if you are going to have a family oriented wedding or not. Maybe it will be the difference between a big wedding or a small one. During the planning process, there are so many tough decisions that have to be made. It is best to make them early and make them clear to everyone. The goal here is to treat everyone with kindness and respect. No one wants to be told no, and there isn’t even enough time to get into friends fighting over who is going to be the maid of honor. Some friends consider that as an end to a friendship. Either way, we hope this helps you along your wedding planning process. Stay tuned for more helpful articles that will help you plan for your wedding.
Meagan and William